


Wishing

by SenkoWakimarin



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-14
Updated: 2016-07-14
Packaged: 2018-07-23 22:55:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7483107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SenkoWakimarin/pseuds/SenkoWakimarin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roadhog miscalculates.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wishing

**Author's Note:**

> Angst! Angst! Angst!

It had been easier when he’d found Junkrat irritating. When he’d (rightly, _rightly_ ) kept the smaller man at arm’s length, refusing to get close enough to even call him _friend_. Before, he never would have made a mistake like this. He never would have wanted anything that would have brought him even close to this blunder.

But months alone with Junkrat had taken their toll. Nights spent sharing close quarters, days spent plotting and running and fighting together; it had all brought down his defenses. He’d allowed himself to get close, friendly, and then worse, smitten. He who barely cared a whit for his fellow man had gotten saccharine over his boss, complete with moony, hungry thoughts that snuck over him in idle hours. The easy, careless way Junkrat sometimes touched him didn’t help; his doubtful mind too soon became certain, so completely certain, that ‘Rat felt the same as he did.

The understanding was the worst of it.

Roadhog could perhaps have borne rejection if it had come outright, cold and harsh and without any kind of mercy. The sparing of feelings did nothing but make the situation hurt worse, and it already hurt worse than he’d ever have expected it could.

Just how he could have been so stupid, he didn’t understand. He’d always been so damn good at reading other people before now – all his life it had been a talent he could rely on.

It was the way Junkrat had looked at him earlier that had done it, the way those eyes lingered on him when he’d come out of the shower, leaning in the doorway between their dingy hotel room’s bed and bathroom. Rat had crossed the room to him, and maybe that had done it too, or the way he’d spoken, quieter than usual and so sincere.

“I jus’ wanna say thanks, mate,” he’d said, honey eyes bright and rational and earnest, “I know it ain’t always easy dealin’ with me.”

That was god’s honest truth, it certainly wasn’t easy dealing with the smaller man and his erratic moods, tendency to find trouble without trying, and his constant forgetfulness, but Roadhog had always been patient with him. The easiest thing to have done would have been to laugh it off or agree in his typical dismissive way

But what had he done instead? Crossed the little space between them and chucked a finger under ‘Rat’s chin and bent down, kissing him gently.

At first it had seemed fine, the smaller man had gone very still, no pulling back or yelling or hitting, all of which Roadhog had braced himself for. He just allowed it to happen and then hummed quietly as ‘Hog finally pulled away.

“You know I ain’t, uh,” he’d said, perfectly calm, a little smile playing at the corners of his lips, “I ain’t gay, Roadie.” ‘Hog hadn’t said anything, hadn’t been able to. And ‘Rat, ‘Rat had finally smiled fully, all nervy good humor as he reached up to pat one broad shoulder, a touch Roadhog had flinched from. “It’s a’right,” the younger man had continued, “I don’ care if _you_ are, but I ain’t.”

That had been the end of it, and it wasn’t their way to rehash anything they didn’t agree on. Hell, it wasn’t even a disagreement; it was Roadhog’s own damn miscalculation. His stupid mistake.

Worst of it was, there was nowhere for him to go. He laid down on the big bed that dominated the hotel room, hating himself and wishing ‘Rat would have reacted any other way but with such gentle understanding.

Wishing he’d never acted on the impulse.

Wishing he were dead.


End file.
